hyperfocusdrive

I think yesterday has been my worse day ever. I was to schedule for classes that day, but I had no idea what to take. I had gone to a ADHD support group which helped me relate myself to people who have ADHD. Sometimes I wish I could just take a drug that would allow me to focus and concentrate to things that matter most to me, that being my academics.

During group yesterday, it made me realize how my brain actually drives like a motor. I never thought about it before because I never really knew how it felt to have a motor-driven mind. In fact I do drink a lot of caffeine, specifically mountain dew and energy drinks. This caffeine seems to serve as my fuel so that I can do my day to day things.

In group we talked about this thing called, "Hyperfocus."

Hyperfocus describes an intense form of mental concentration or visualization that focuses consciousness on a narrow subject, or beyond objective reality and onto subjective mental planes, daydreams, concepts, fiction, the imagination, and other objects of the mind.

We talked about a few instances of where we can have hyperfocus. For me it almost seems to occur to me when I'm playing World of Warcraft. But maybe thats just the nature of the game, that you play endlessly without evening knowing it. Maybe pending 7 hours to complete a paper and not realizing that you spend that 7 hours is another example of hyperfocus. But I don't think I have experienced 7 hours of studying or writing a paper. When something is due, I seem to wanna compete with my friends. For example, my friends seems to always get their homework done at the last minute and end up receiving a good grade, I try this and end up getting a bad grade.

I've yet to be fully diagnosed with ADHD, which nowadays I feel that this is a major concern in my life right now. Failing my academics is one of my worst fears, because I know I can do it, I just seem to struggle with it. (/cry)

Enough with me yapping I need to finish my list before I head to work in about an hour. I just wanna thank the people who I talked to on the phone or AIM last night. Thanks.