streesed and depressed.

Boy gee did I screw up. I was going to blog about another topic i had in mind, well that didn't work as planned. In fact I got more depressed about the events that happened today. It's quite a story, but lets see if I'm able to sum it up in a simple and clear blog post. :)

This morning I heard from my brother that I was kicked from my guild in the World of Warcraft. My initial reaction was the usual, "WTF? How?" Let's just say I'm not a happy camper. :( I would love to had explained certain things, but I fell that I was ignored and mis-communicated on a lot of guild related things. It would have been nice to leave the guild with a good bye post or a good bye wave in guild chat, but that never happened.

Has the removal been a good thing? Perhaps could I see myself doing more things other than the World of Warcraft? It came to me that maybe I play the game way to much and could it be hazardous to my health and social well being? I heard numerous stories about people losing marriages over MMORPG's, but this is about a marriage. It's more Real Life versus In-Game. I enjoy doing activities and engaging in social conversations in each, but is the In Game reality consuming me? I think not!

When I play, I find myself enjoying it when I'm with people I know in real life or people I've gotten to know a lot better, like my sweet online boyfriend, Parker. Every day we find out something new that either have some similarity to it or some strange fact that we least expected.

My twin brother also plays the game and we seem to enjoy doing things together. (i.e. quests, instances, and having fun) Without the game, how would we be able to talk to each other on a daily basis? Once a night never seems to work because either I'm studying diligently, having a bad mood, or one of us is found sleeping before 10:30pm. We could still talk on AIM or MSN, but being together on a quest or goal gives us that sense of being connected. Whatever it is, all i know is that it's a twin thing and I'm very grateful that I have someone that close to me who I can share and have fun with. There are some things I could cry over, but again that's a different topic to discuss later. It just occurred to me that we never really had gotten a photo of us other than our senior portraits in high school. And believe me, those are outdated pictures. We both looked differently than we did in high school. Maybe sometime in the summer, we both can spend a few extra bucks and get a a few portraits done by a photographer. It would be great to show people something more current.

Now what would come to me if I didn't have the World of Warcraft? Would I go clinical insane? or Would I be bored out of mind. I'd have plenty of free time, but what would I do with all this free time? Probably bore myself to insanity. World of Warcraft not only has been occupying some of my life, but it's given me something to do. Without the World of Warcraft, it would be kinda boring. Unless I decide to go drinking everyweekend, but that's way too overrated. Getting drunk on occasion, or special occasions seems to be more fun.

Am I what you call an addict to the World of Warcraft? God I hope not. When I think of the word addict, I start to think of a person who devotes most or all of his time to playing World of Warcraft. I spend most of my time playing, but I try to moderate myself. Moderating myself to a point where I'm actively engaging socially outside the In-Game realm. When I think of my brother playing the game, I don't think as if he was and addict. I seriously think if we both had more of a social life back in high school we wouldn't be socially disgusted with ourselves. I may be preaching to the choir but in fact me any my brothers social life sucked. There are times where I wish my dad would have let us go out and experience life has an individual teenager, but no.... he insisted that we stay home and be safe. What we usually did was sit on the computer and play online games. What a life in high school, sigh.

I never really had thought about going to college when I was in high school, but I know I didn't want to stay at home after i turned 18 or 19. I went on into higher education with pretty much one goal in mind, "Be more independent and give myself more freedom from being at home." Like what the good o' saying from ma or pa, "You live under my roof, You live under my rules." I hated that rule and wish that rule was never established in our household. My brother tried to do the same thing I did by going to the local university in town, but never made it passed the first semester. In fact if i recall correctly, I never really made it my first semester at college. I was on Academic Probation and pretty much had to work my best to get out of it. Seeing that we are identical twins, "If I can do it, then I know for certain that he can do it too."

It's always been my major concern in my life to look after each other. Seriously, when your close as we are, you do wanna make sure that we both are doing good. Hence why at times we enjoy talking on the cell phone for hours about specific things in our life or in-game.

I remember a time when we both got so mad at our parents, we even considered looking for a apartment to try and live on our own. But I almost hate to admit that even though our parents provide us with a lot of things, sometimes I wish we could of been given more freedom. Even today, my brother is limited in what he can do to be more independent and I wish/pray that some day we both will be equally independent. Even when I do graduated from this university, I know that I would love to get an apartment with him. I already know that wherever I may get a job that uses my degree, I want him with me. Not as a boyfriend, but as my twin and supporter.

I've already got an online boyfriend whom we seem to have stuff in common. :) <3 href="http://fourtyblocks.blogspot.com/">Nate who has been a great friend along with Nicole, (who I can never get her blog address correct, because its too friggin long!) who enjoys reading my posts. Even if there long as hell, she will always take the time to read what's going on in her friend's life. I also try my best to read and comment their blogs as well.

I think I need to end it here. Feel free to send me and e-mail: thousey at gmail dot com. I know it says timiswaiting at gmail dot com, but hardly check that. Just send it to my main e-mail address and I'll read your comments and reply back. Thanks! =) <3

Doh! I just remembered a topic i wanted to briefly talk about. "Is majoring in Radio/TV/Film something I'd like to pursue?"This topic occurred to me briefly, but it's something I may want to consider. The topic brings me back into time where I'm trying to decided on a major and minor. It was a conversation between my older brother Josh as we were trying to figure out which major I could benefit most from.

We looked at the majors and minors that Oshkosh had to offer and eliminated one by one of things I was interested in. It ended up with Radio/TV/Film, but is that something I want to pursue as a career? I can't honestly answer that because the more I look into it now, does the major reflect some of my interests? It has for the most part, but pretty much the technology and computer part to the major.

I don't even know why this thought came to me, but could it be true? Could there be another major that'll suit my needs? I was almost thinking about trying to schedule an appointment with a counselor about doing a personality test and then figuring based on the results what an ideal major may be. Is RTF for me? Is Journalism for me? Both questions i think should be answered soon.